Life as it happens, sometimes good, sometimes not so good.

Well, it has been quite a week.

I wasn't able to go to a old friends' brothers memorial this past Saturday as I already had an obligation out of town for the weekend. He was young, a father, a son, a brother, a friend, an uncle and a husband. Thursday evening I got a call that a lovely man, the father/father in law of very close friends had passed away unexpectedly. His memorial is this Saturday. Today I rec'd an email letting me know that a very dear lady who volunteers at my work has passed away and her memorial is on Thursday. Her passing is not completely unexpected, but sad for those left behind none the less.

What is it about getting a few years under our belts that seems to increase the ration of memorial invitations? Is it that we know so many more people or is it that time passes and it is just an inevitable part of life? I have pondered this for years.

Figuring it out isn't the goal, but understanding why has always been part of my thinking. DNA I suppose.
I have a strange affinity for death, dying, memorials, and funerals. There is no way to explain how this has come to be a part of my life. Even I do not understand it. My desire to support those in times of loss is huge. In 1986, when my aunt passed away in her 30's, I was 20 years old. It became apparent to me at that time that no matter how much people genuinely cared, there was nothing that they could say that was going to change the way I felt or bring a loved one back. It's true isn't it? Yet we strive, as humans (in general) to offer the very best of condolences, almost as if it will brighten someones day.
Hmmmmm, while I appreciate the gesture of compassion, it usually seems to fall a little flat of what the intention behind it was. While we are grieving, in the early stages, when it is still raw and ragged, really all most of us want to do is just hunker down and hide out, or snuggle under big duvets and sleep, or tune out via television or movies... or maybe sort through our loved ones personal effects, languishing in the memories and heart stirrings that are prompted by a smell or a photo, or the feel of something left behind.Not for a moment am I suggesting that we should not reach out, no matter how awkwardly, with a hand of compassion, a tender look, a loving word, or even food. I am merely trying to acknowledge the reality of what these situations create.
Stirrings of emotion, or even whelms of emotion, insane laughter sometimes, desperate tears and anguish other times. One may follow closely upon the heals of another with out warning. We may feel foolish, or angry, relieved or sad. Although we may laugh, I do not have a personal experience of being happy in these times. Deep seated joy may reside within us upon reflection of special times, when the one we loved was well and we shared something together that caused us to reflect upon that joy.
It is an exhausting week for many in our Valley, 3 families that I know of in particular are suffering the aftermath of loss even as I type this.

My heart goes out, sincerely, to the families of Chris, Bob, and Lorraine. May God cover them all with His peace that passes all understanding. Oh let them have moments of reflection of that deep seated joy I was referring to, enough to allow them to come through to the other side of the pain. In the mighty name of Jesus, I cry out for them. Beloved, let us love one another. We all have our gifts, let's use them to bless those that are hurting right now. Even if it feels unnatural....stretch out your hands. You may be surprised to realize a blessing of your own when you do.

Bless you my friends.