Happy Fathers Day Dad!

Can you believe it is Fathers Day tomorrow? Blink....time just flies..is it my age? or is this phenomenon happening to every other person around the globe also?

I will dig back into my memory for my very favourite time with my dad.

The age I was during the time of this memory is very vague to me at the moment.... maybe 7 yrs old? We were camping in our truck and camper, with our good friends the McKinney's. Jim and Linda were really good friends of my mum and dad, hunting/fishing buddies actually. They had 2 boys, Grant and Paul. G was my age and P was my brother Kelly's age, or very close anyway. My geographical memory is void of any particular point on the map, but the event is VERY clear.

We were trout fishing at a lake somewhere on Vancouver Island. Trout fishing had already become one of my favourite pastimes by the age of 7. It remains so to this day...close to 38 years later...oops, telling on myself again!

For some reason my brother was not out in the boat with us, the only people I really remember out their were Jim, my dad, and me. This may not be accurate, bear with me...the cobwebs also serve as clear memory blockers!

We had been out in the boat for quite some time, I remember this as I had had utilize "the coffee can"...yeah, boat lingo for "biffy"! A distinct recollection is being aware of how unfair it was that the males in the boat could so easily express themselves (smirk) by just standing at the front of the boat and letting loose! Today there is a phrase that resembles "***** envy" ...LOL...I think you get the idea.

As far as my memory serves, and on this I am POSITIVE...I was the only one in the boat to catch any fish. Darkness was falling, rain was falling, and I was slaying trout! WOO HOO! Good times.

Eventually we found our way back to ground zero, I felt victorious. What a great experience. In that moment, a stone was laid solidly in the foundation of my life.

Through out the years we spent a lot of time out in the bush, or at black powder rendezvous, climbing down the side of many a dirt road or highway to get to a potential fishing spot.

Those are the memories I cherish. That is the gold I store up.

My daughter is expecting my first grandchildren, yes that was plural. Twins, we know that one is a boy for sure, the other one was a little more discreet... so for now...baby A and baby B. I look forward with great anticipation to sharing that story and others with them. It is part of the legacy I hope will carry on. There is a very good chance of that happening since their mum's dad is also a great outdoorsman.
(this photo is a couple of years old...my daughter Julia (mum to be), Me, my daughter Chelsea, and my dad)
Gratitude for those priceless moments, that have paved the way for other priceless moments to come~that is what I am thinking about today.

Thanks Dad, I love you.

Lenders and Borrowers Beware

LIviNg LiFe to the fullest often means getting down and dirty with your friends. There are many ways in which that could be construed although I have a particularly dirty piece in mind.

Lending & borrowing. Are you a lender? A borrower? Or both? I happen to be both. The way we were brought up in my house was that if you needed to borrow something, you were better to be prepared to replace it in case anything happened to. If we lent something out we needed to consider it given away, if it came back in good shape that was a bonus. If we weren't able to do either of those, then we would be better off to refrain from borrowing or lending altogether.

Well, now I am all grown up, at least that is what the birthdate on my drivers license suggests! One of my favourite bands is the Barra MacNeils, my favourite album of theirs is called " The Question". On that album is a song called "Goin' Back" one of the lines is "and now I think I've got a lot more than a skipping rope to lend." True story.

So, quite some time ago, I was with a mini-gaggle of women. Oh yeah, it was fantastic! We know how to rip it up on iced tea, let me tell ya. The topic of borrowing and lending came up. As you can imagine, we ALL had a story or two (or twelve!) to share.

One time, in another life and in another land far away, there was a family that liked to borrow rather than purchase. This is an accepted practice when it is occasional. But, if you are going to take up skiing as a family hobby, and you have purchased a family seasons pass for …..oh let’s say…. Mount Swish…..BUY YOUR OWN EQUIPTMENT! Oops, my outside voice came into the house again! One member of the gaggle who has asked to remain anonymous shared a story. I will call her Blossom.

Blossom Responsible and her hubby are very organized, and take very good care of their belongings. Their children are being raised to take care of their belongings as well. So much so in fact, that after attending the annual ski swap that is held in the area of Mt.Swish, and purchasing their own 2nd hand equipment, they resold it the next season for higher value. Tell you anything?

So, enter Biff and Sissy (maybe not their real names), they are good friends of Blossom and Fred. They had decided to try skiing. Excellent! They borrowed the Responsible families’ equipment and hit the slopes of Mt.Swish. It was awesome! They loved it! They decided it would be no biggie if they used the equipment again the next weekend. Their thoughts were that Blossom and Fred wouldn’t mind if they used it, with out checking, and so the pattern continued throughout the season. Okay…so that was last season. Blossom and Fred, along with their Responsible kids, didn’t ski last year. This season they were pulling the gear together, making sure everything was in order, as they were planning to ski every weekend for their family outings. A long overdue call to Biff and Sissy resulted in the return of the toothpick and metal recycling quality gear being returned.

Hmmmmmmmmm, that would not have passed muster in my family’s manner of borrowing. Unfortunately Biff and Sissy had NO clue. Blossom and Fred did not want to create an issue out this painful learning experience. Lesson learned I suppose, but…there was a funny moment that came out of it.

On the night of the mini-gaggle gathering, we were hashing over the what if’s and how to’s to deal with this type of situation….I came up with a great idea! Okay, more bizarre or ridiculous than great…2 sets of everything! Easy peasy! If I am gonna be a lender, I just buy 2 sets: one to use and one to lend! That way, I always have my gear in great shape and ready to use whenever I want, and my Biffy/Sissy friends are happy too.

Lots of people would be really happy with this! The realtors are gonna benefit because now I need a way bigger house! Vendors and manufacturers are happy because now I am spending double on things that an average family would only buy one of! Biff and Sissy are happy because they can buy more shoes and polo shirts since they don’t have to spend their money on the sporting equipment, camping gear, and lawn care essentials.

What do you think? Good idea? Or all to familiar and painful? Are you Biff or Sissy? Hmmmmm, can I borrow your new…..LOL! Kidding, I don’t wanna borrow anything. But I know someone who does!


Note:
It was written, in 1602From Shakespeare's Hamlet,:
Spoken by Lord Polonius to his son Laertes:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.*

Literally it would be written:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
For a loan often loses both the loan and the friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of the economy.*

(*www.enotes.com/hamlet-text/act-i-scene-iii)

Life

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Man plans and God laughs."? It is not biblical if that is what you are thinking! I love it. There must be a strong GOD DNA line in my gene pool, I laugh at myself a lot!

When I was 5 years old, there was nothing beyond going over to Brenda's to play dolls on my mind. Certainly not what kind of job opportunities would I be looking at in my 40's. Yet, here I am, looking at job opportunities. And Life.

Reflection can be a very harsh thing, but it can allow grace as well. My life has been filled with both.

The saving grace (other than Jesus!) has been my sense of humour. Hallelujah for that!!

I have found pieces of the most incredible humour in the midst of crisis, the death of a family member, the crumbling of a marriage, the loss of a job, or even the end of my uterus!

Is it indeed DNA? Or is it a choice? A decision. In moments I may succumb to my circumstances, but for the most part, I choose life, humour and optimism. Why not!

On the evening of September 10th, 2001, I was blessed to be one of a few hundred people at a seminar in Vancouver. The speaker was Patch Adams. The title was "Laughter in Healing". It was actually being put on for the medical community. My girlfriend Kelly is a nurse and saw the advertisement on a bulletin board at work. I will be eternally grateful to her for inviting me.

Patch is one of the most humble, lovely, eloquent, heart driven people I have ever seen in my life. Did I mention his sense of humour? We laughed and we shed a few tears, we laughed some more, and yes, we shed a few more tears. He has worn clown clothes for about 30 years. His hair is long, 1/2 of it was blue, he has this terrific showpiece of a mustache. Family, as in the human race, is his passion. Loving them no matter what. Going into orphanages in Russia with a group of 20 or more other love filled passionate people with terrific senses of humour. They brought smiles, laughter and hope to children and adults who had none. They splashed colour onto a country that was broken, gray, in despair. Hopelessness fills the land. Bring in the clowns!

We ended the evening, so grateful to be able to take a bit of that with us. I had furiously written notes throughout the entire evening. I still have them.

My mum and I were staying with a friend that night. We had a wonderful time, regaling her with the stories from the evening, we had aching stomach muscles by the time we went to bed.

The next morning at 5 a.m., Merrilee woke us up as I had to get mumma to the airport by 7 a.m. The television was on, Merrilee looked haggard. None of us will ever forget what happened on September 11, 2001.

The funny part....yes there is one! Country Bumpkin #1-Rebecca & Country Bumpkin #2-Mumma never bothered to stop and process any of the information that was being broadcast continually on EVERY television station in the electronic world....even in Vancouver! Yeah..... so, Bumpkins #1 & #2 proceeded to shed a few tears with our host, and all the while in shock and awe about what was happening on the other side of the continent (so how on earth could it affect us?) travel as planned to Vancouver International Airport.

You are shaking your heads in amazement.... no kidding. Imagine what we were doing when we finally came to!

As we were driving up the long road that is part of the airport entry way, Country Bumpkin #1 & Country Bumpkin #2 were in an incredulous state at the number of RCMP vehicles and Local Police cars and Airport Authority vehicles everywhere. WOW! Wonder what is going on here? Huh? We were stymied! (this is so hilarious that I am not even slightly embarrassed!)

Mumma hopped out of my car, kiss kiss hug hug, "Call me when you get back to Kelowna!"

I proceeded to head to the Tsawwassen Ferry Terminal. I have this visual that I like to share. As I was leaving the airport, in complete Bumpkin Oblivion, that horrific morning of 9/11, I can totally visualize the gates locking, the bridges being blocked, the Authorities setting up check points ....bang bang bang, right behind me all the way. Can't you just picture it??? Dum dee dum, dum dee dum.....la la la la dee da dee da dee da.

When I arrived at the ferry terminal, there was no sailing for about 2 hours, Imagine That! So I got out of my car and headed over to the stalls of lovely things tourists love to buy. I found a fantastic hat stall, bought the most incredible black hat, it is my 9/11 hat. You will find hanging in a state of prominence among my other 47 hats.

Conversations were filling every available space, people were clustered, speculating, often suggesting they knew exactly what happened that horrifying morning. I couldn't stand listening to it anymore. With hat in hand I went straight back to my car. The windows and doors were shut tight, I pulled out my notebook from the night before. There was hope on those pages. I managed a few smiles while remembering stories that had been drawn from the heart of a man who lives to bring joy. Joy in the ashes.

Even on that day, I was able to realize moments worth smiling about. As the day progressed and we learned more about what actually happened, I was so grateful to have been able to enter and walk through the day with a different perspective. There was nothing on earth I could do on that day to change what had already happened. So I chose to look up and ahead. I chose life.

The carefully planned and highly anticipated West Coast Birthday Weekend Adventure

Hallelujah! We we’re finally on our way to Tofino for Andrew's carefully planned and highly anticipated West Coast Birthday Weekend Adventure. As we turn off of the inland highway towards Pt. Alberni I ask him to head down to Coombs Old Country Market prior to the L-O-N-G portion of the journey ~ translation: not gonna be a lot of 'powder rooms ' from here on in!

So we hang a left onto the old road and all of a sudden the car has no power. Uh oh! What the heck is going on? Funny enough (haha yeah tongue in cheek funny ) when Judd and I were on our way home from Victoria last weekend, the same thing happened. Try Second gear, oops we are going a little too fast! Third gear, no power, Second gear... still too fast, Third gear still no power. Oh man! So we call Dan, our great friend at Canadian Tire…back in Courtenay. I mentioned we were in Coombs didn't I? That’s 45 mins from Courtenay for those of you unfamiliar with this area.

Drew tries to describe the cars “issue” to the best of his ability, neither of us are car experts, we hire people to do car stuff... Hello!

I, having a lucid moment, whip out the camera. We are going to need to document this adventure. It’s always what you make of it isn't it? So I’m snapping pics, Drew’s on the phone to C Tire, BCAA , National Rent a car, Budget rent a car, C Tire again. We are not going to cancel our carefully planned and highly anticipated West Coast Birthday Weekend Adventure because of a little car trouble!

By this point, I have taken myself into the hospital in the midst of this little sideline adventure...oh, I didn't mention that? Because the closest powder room to poor wee Durbs, aka: 'broke down 1992 Honda Accord with the personalized plates', was in the Coombs Veterinary Hospital!

So Drew decides he may as well powder his nose while we are waiting, we aren’t sure when Budget will arrive or when the only tow truck in town will get here. I decide to utilize my time most efficiently by starting the next installment of “THE” blog…oh scare the life out of me! Someone just rapped on my window !!!! Whew it is the Budget guy! We carefully deliberate, then decide that it is easier for Drew to go with Budget guy on his own to get the 2010 Golf that will take us the rest of the way on our carefully planned and highly anticipated West Coast Birthday Weekend Adventure.

Oh, hold on, here is a little segway into my story writing in current time; Tow truck Guy (not necessarily his real name) just called me on Drew’s cell, very apologetic, gonna be a little longer. He says, “Buddy flat tire guy can't seem to make up his mind what he wants to do here - change it, tow it, park it, move it, burn it, sell it- for crying out loud!” I was quite enjoying myself actually, so I say, “It’s really not a big deal, we are good, Drew is still with Budget guy getting the new car and quite frankly this is a great blog story so don't get yourself lathered up Tow Truck Guy.” He sounded like he was smiling at this point! J

I have Kari Jobe singing her heart out, I have a big bag of road trip food at my side, a cuppa Eastern Sunrise green tea in the cup holder, the rain is pelting the windscreen of poor wee Durbs, aka:'broke down 1992 Honda Accord with the personalized plates ', I am toasty and dry. The only challenge is that I hear the Powder room calling my name, if I can hold out ‘til Drew gets back with the new car, I will finally make it to Coombs Old Country Market. Every carefully planned and highly anticipated West Coast Birthday Weekend Adventure needs an extra unexpected powder room visit with a triple scoop ice cream chaser. It’s just to tide me over until we get to Tofino!

The adventure continues! Watch for the next installation!

NO Photos Please

Okay, not putting any photos here..... the topic is doggy-doo-bags.

What is it about a doggy-doo-bag that makes it so socially acceptable? I was driving down the road this morning when I saw my friend walking with her dog. As I rolled down my window to shout a greeting, I noticed movement near her right hand....the leash was in the left hand....you know what is coming right?

She gives me a big smile and a wave...with her RIGHT hand. The same hand that is holding the full doggy-doo-bag. I had to laugh, it is so wrong, but what else do you do in that situation? It happens all the time, I see it everywhere.

Poor dogs, not only do they have to do their business in front of the world, if they are on a leash or walking in a public area, but they get the added humiliation of having their "leavings" hung around their neck, or tied to their leash, I have seen a few carrying the bag in their teeth, the walkers often have the bag swinging freely in their hand as though it is a bag of fruit from the market. Oy!

While saying all this, I am very aware of the disastrous elements we would be dodging if nobody picked up after their dogs. I am most grateful for that. But seriously, can we come up with a better method of transport, display and disposal?

Maybe not..... Oh my goodness, what a thought swirl so early in the morning.

Did I mention that we only have fish for pets? There is a reason for that!

Happy Day!

Victory in Battle (with tongue in cheek!)

What a crumby day.

I have just come through one of the most heated battles of my existence. The enemy was easily recognized, the weapons were strewn on the field. Smoke has dissipated from the area where the attack took place. Evidence of an aggressive motion could be seen across the plain. Battle scars and debris were plentiful. You may recognize the war I am describing, it happens every day all across this country.

Though not often enough.

If we confronted this passive aggressor more frequently, the scars would be minimal. Although, the thrill of victory would be lessened. There is something about the adrenaline that courses through your veins, in knowing you have conquered one of the least noticed, yet most persistent enemies of our time. It is not known to me at this time how many support groups are active in regard to this scourge. I may start one myself after this last round of attacks. Not sure how many more times I will be able to withstand this alone. We all need to band together, rise up and face this evil villain. I say, "NO MORE"!

I have attached a few photos of the aftermath. If you are sensitive to this type of thing, you may want to cover your eyes. This needs to be addressed. Seriously! ;-)

Photos taken after clearing the field

note that the crumb catcher is free from debris!
Pre-battle weapon preparation display....
Please note: this machine was unplugged prior to the attack!

Cleaning the crumbs out of the toaster has to be one of the most brutal jobs I have ever undertaken!

Time to reflect

I have recently been reconnected with a very dear friend whom I have not seen nor spoke to in about 12 years. As we are in the process of catching up, it is obvious how much time has gone by as we look at photographs of each others children. Wow, there is no escaping time when it is documented by the development of children into young adults.



This first photograph is of my kids in October 1992...shortly after Chelsea arrived to even out the boy girl ratio in the house. Whew! I had no idea how much I wanted to have a sister arrive for Julia, until the sister actually arrived.

(from left to right are Chelsea, Julia, Kalvin & Judd)

The next photo is from Christmas day 2008...I had by then become and continue to be the shortest member of this family! sigh....it was bound to happen.

(from left to right , Judd, me, Kalvin, Julia and Chelsea)



It is incredible to take a moment and realize just how much has happened in the time between these two photos. The level of amazement is still very high for me, as I watch them even now, discover and test new things. Being a parent to these amazing individuals has been a privilege. There have uncountable blessings as well as innumerable challenges.

(If you have seen me lately, you might have thought the reason I have funky different coloured hair often is because it is fun and I am admittingly a little out there! Well yeah... and the funky different colours hide the different sections of my hair that are now naturally occurring in varying shades of gray to white! )

As my baby girl prepares to graduate high school in one more semester, my thoughts are continually revisiting the past 23 1/2 years of my life. That is when I first became a mom.

Of all the things that I have done, being a mom the way I have been a mom to them, is the one thing I am glad I was able to grow into. Looking back at the beginning, I can see so many mistakes. What did I know? Not much. A little bit about a little bit. Now? I know a little bit about a lot more, but not much all tolled.

I know that choosing the things to battle over with them is critical. Wish I could say I always got it right, but you know I would be fibbing!

Reflection can be a wonderful filtering tool, I don't have to closely examine all of the difficult, less than desirable parts of each of these relationships. Yet I can pull out the lovely, fun, warm and fuzzy bits, holding them close and looking forward to more of the same.

Selective? Yes!

Balanced? Who cares!

We have lived through a lot of reality, right now I just want to reflect on the yummy stuff.

(these are 2 of the more current photos of Julia and Chelsea)


(these are 2 of the more current photos of Kalvin and Judd)

After all of that....I think I am ready for gramma-hood! Uhhhh, not today! But before I celebrate the 29th anniversary of my 21st birthday. That would be just fine :)