23rd Anniversary of Judd

We gathered for a family dinner tonight to celebrate Judd's Birthday. 23 years old! Oh my gosh, did I blink? My baby is now a very large man. How often do I forget that with every year of my genetically directed advanced hair colouring, (wink),that my children are making advances of their own?

When they come into this harsh world, they are oblivious of what awaits them, good and evil. Trust is essential, there is no choice. Love is unconditional, options are unknown. Vulnerability is at it's peak, again, there is no choice.

St.Joseph's Hospital, in Comox, B.C. was the setting for our first delivery, Judd. Don't worry, I am not even going to start with the details of that experience, except to say that it couldn't have been that bad! WE did it 3 more times... and each experience was as unique as the first.

Weighing 8 lbs 9 oz, Judd Mathew Levirs pushed his way into the world at 4:25 a.m. I was so freaked out. My history did not include the phrase," I can't wait to have a baby!", or," I can't wait to be a mom!". I babysat for the money. Period. It was a job, not even my favourite job. Funny thing that I had 4 kids. Funnier still was the instant invasion of the body snatchers type thing that happened the minute the baby arrived. I remember looking at him in complete awe and wonder. I was in love with this perfect little man. All I wanted to do was snuggle him, pack him around, change his diaper, stare at him, feel his skin, touch his hair, clip his nails, nurse him, bundle him, protect him.

I still do. 23 years later, not a lot has changed.

Well, except that he is about 1 1/2 times my size, his voice is at least 12 decibels lower than mine, the amount of food he can pack away puts a small army to shame, the number inside of his shoes is big, leftovers are not a problem in our house even though he doesn't live at home anymore, the word 'energy' in the dictionary should have his photo under it, ( work at the mill all day, rollerblade to mum's house 8 or 10 kms away, rollerblade another few blocks to drop in basketball, play basketball for a couple of hours, then rollerblade home...now what ?), and for fun on his days off he has a part time job landscaping!

What hasn't changed is this; all I want to do is snuggle him, be around him, stare at him, feel his skin, touch his hair, feed him, bundle him, protect him.

I have realized that after being a mom for 23 years, I will always want to do those things. With each of my kids it is the same. But I have had to step back and let them figure stuff out, make some not so great decisions on their own, pick themselves up & move forward.

How often I have wondered if it is harder being the kid or the mom? I am both, but I was a different kid than mine are, everything was different. Really, cell phones were not even at the "beam me up Scotty" stage yet. They didn't exist. Can you imagine what their lives would be like now without instant messaging and texting? Remember when the Ingalls family lived around the corner? (LOL)

I am so proud of my son. He has had many bumps along the way, the path has not been straight and clear, but he is moving consistently forward. His work ethic, willingness to help us at anytime, support friends in whatever their need is at the moment, and courage to walk his own walk tell the tale of strong man. A man who is finding himself, getting stronger and more faith filled with each passing day. Accepting responsibility, paying his own way, reaching beyond what he has known, step by step.

Happy Birthday Judd, I am so proud to be your Mom.


Love Mumma xo



The photo at the right is Judd, after his long
day landscaping on his day off, his birthday!
We had a great dinner and a visit.
It was a good day!







This is a photo of
me and all 4 of my "babies".
Left to Right...Judd, Mum, Kalvin, Julia, Chelsea